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Skip to content. I have 2 boys, ages 2 and 5. We live in a house with 1 bedroom upstairs that we all share. I am very comfortable being naked and don't like to wear a robe to and from my bedroom when I am getting dressed in a hurry. I also love to take baths and hot tubs with my sons and don't want to make a big deal about my body. My older son has started to be fascinated by my ''beautiful nipples, cute butt and bagina'' I have told him that those are my private parts and it is uncomfortable for me when he to talks like that.
At what age will this no longer be appropriate? Many thanks bobbie. When is it no longer appropriate? Probably around 11 years-old, when your son will likely become painfully self-conscious and not be able to bear changing his socks in front of any one. Certainly, at only 36 months, you've got a long way to go. Keep on showering together as long as both of you are enjoying it Splish Splash. I have very traumatic memories of showering with parents when I was old enough to be showering alone.
Not because of anything that happened in the shower, but because it really sucks to be an adult and have indelible pictures of my parents' naked bodies in my mind And to know that I was old enough to shower alone yet they felt the need or desire to have me in the shower with them. I still don't understand why a parent would do this.
A child who is old enough to shower or bathe alone, or with a parent sitting nearby age 5 or thereabouts for most kids is TOO OLD to be taking a shower with a parent. In fact, I think taking a shower with a kid who's old enough to shower by themselves is setting a kid up for poor boundaries, parent issues and issues around body privacy and sexuality. I say this as someone who is not a prude about nudity but feels that still taking a shower with my dad at 7 or 8 was highly inappropriate.
I'd say: right about now. Some things such as the nude body of the parent of the opposite sex are better left completely to the imagination. I agree with a recent poster that each child needs to develop a sense of privacy and personal boundaries around their sexuality, and what better way than to see that modeled by parents who have a firm sense of privacy and personal boundaries. At 39 months, your son is quite aware of the world around him and beginning to form early opinions about these sorts of issues.
While my own parents were deeply narcissistic and so screwed up in so many ways in my childhood, at the least they got this whole issue right. I never recall seeing my father in the nude, and I bathed with my mom until we couldn't squeeze in the tub. As a mom, I wouldn't dream of letting my son in the room with me undressed, and I still take the occaisonal tub with my tween-age daughter.
I hope I'm conveying a message to my daughter of ease with her body, and a message of separatedness and personal boundaries with my son. I think they are relieved and appreciate of my clarity around this issue, and my husband is in full agreement and behaves accordingly. It's a good thing you're looking at this issue now before your son gets any older.
I'm not sure about a child of the opposite gender, but I regularly swim with my ten year old and we shower in the locker room along with other adults and children. I keep expecting her to feel modest, or awkward about my body, but that stage hasn't arrived yet.
I also think that maybe because it is part of our exercise routine, we both feel comfortable showering together. If it starts to feel uncomfortable for you or your child, you should stop, but until then you should enjoy the togetherness. What a skewed view we still have of the human body. There was a lot of postings about boundaries and sexuality.
Children at this age have no concept of sexuality.
The most interest children at this age have in the body is how bodies look different. The idea of sex enters the picture at different times for different kids.
But not at 39 months. As for boundaries, kids develop them when you set a respectful example. We have a 43 month old who still bathes with her dad and showers with him at the pool. We also have 2 teenage girls, both who bathed with their dad until THEY decided they no longer wanted to. The other probably closer to 6 she would bathe at home alone but was afraid to be in the locker room at the pool by herself.
We modeled boundaries by respecting both of their decisions to close the door and be alone. If my little one asks her dad for privacy, she gets it. If he is in the bathroom and asks for privacy, he gets it. Those are boundaries. Maybe I was just raised to have a healthier concept of the human body. Why create a weird dynamic around the human body?
When she is ready to be private with her dad, she will be. It happens quickly and usually overnight. So, have a healthy, respectful attitude and stop worrying about damaging your child permanently.
Bare and Balanced. What I find interesting is that you refer to your son as a month old. Unless, of course, when he's of driving age you will be celebrating his nd monthday -It's high time you used years. I didn't see the original post but I was very surprised by a lot of the responses.
I grew up in a Scandinavian household and our whole family still goes on trips to hot springs around California. In Norway some kids have co-ed PE classes and shower together! It may or may not be related but they have very low rates of sex crimes up there.
The idea has always been ''as soon as it's not comfortable for someone, you stop,'' - our children will let you know when it becomes awkward to see you naked. We have some friends who have a fantastic, huge Japanese bath and my understanding is that the whole family ciimbs in there! Clearly it's a personal choice and different people have different attitudes and comfort levels.
That seems a little It is not until ages that children develop what is called ''gender stability'' boys know wearing a skirt doesn't change the fact that they're a boy, etc. This is the same age some kids start to get a little modest about ''the opposite sex'' though this is likely more learned than inherent. So it's really about your own comfort level and the comfort level of your kids which, mostly comes from you.
It's unlikely you can cause any psychological harm unless you ignore their wishes when they tell you they wants to stop Scandi Not Nudist! I believe that sexual awareness comes in developmental stages and I could tell when both of my boys became curious about my body. One son was about 4 and the other well over 5 when that developmental stage occurred - and then no more showers together and I personally just felt more comfortable covering up around them.
I really believe adults sexualize alot of things that young children are just sexually UNaware about - unless perhaps they have been abused anonymous. Not to put this on any religious group, but I just so happened to be raised Roman Catholic and it took me almost the entire ten years of my 3rd decade of life to get over the shame that I felt about my own body and about sexuality.
Those were some wasted years that I would not want to wish on my son, or anyone for that matter. My son is seven and he showers with both my husband and I when we are in a rush or if he just wants to join one of us. We have taught him about personal boundaries and private parts of the body. He has his moments when he is shy about his body and we respect that absolutely. Many people have told me that he is an exceptionally well- adjusted, well-mannered and sweet little boy.
You're driving naked... The cops pull you over... - Family Feud
While many of my women friends lament about their children no longer being affectionate, our son continues to be very loving and affectionate to both my husband and me. Barely on Albany Hill. Bravo Bare and Balanced! You summarized my thoughts exactly. I have two sons, 2. We have a big shower and so the whole family gets in every morning together. It is quick, efficient, and fun for the boys. We plan on doing this until the boys can shower on their own, or they express a need for privacy, which ever comes first.
Why Americans feel this insane modesty and shame about the human body baffles me. My husband, who is from Europe, thinks we are whacko about thishe always says, we can show extreme violence on TV to young children, but god forbid they see naked bodies, or even worse sex. We, as a nation, need to get over our fear of nakedness. Please understand that I am a firm believer in clothes and privacy in public but I don't think parents being naked around kids is bad No shame about my body.
I find it hard to believe that if my son sees me naked that is going to scar him for life I'm his mom.
There are adult people all over the planet who are more comfortable with their nudity than us North Americans and I'm sure they don't hide from their kids and I can't believe all the kids in nude- friendly northern Europe, for example, are scarred for life. I think we Americans sexualize nudity and that is why some of us are so uncomfortable with it. I didn't see the original post so perhaps this is off-topic, but my kids grew up in Japan and there it's common for families to visit their neighborhood bathhouse together, either for necessity some older apartments in the cities don't have baths or to relax after a long day even if you have a bath, you can go soak in huge hot-tubs and have a steam and sauna for about four bucks.
Hot-spring resorts are also popular destinations for families on vacation. My kids loved going to the baths! Bathing facilities are always segregated by gender, but boys up to the age of about six are commonly seen on the women's side, bathing not only with their moms but a whole bunch of naked women of all different ages and sizes lots of grandmas.
Very educational. People are more matter-of-fact about nudity in the bathing context and it feels healthier. Come to think of it, it's also really common to have company trips to spa resorts at the weekend, so not only do Japanese people routinely see their family members naked, they often see their coworkers of the same gender nude I don't think the experience has affected my son negatively. He's now fifteen and has a respectful and tolerant view of the human body. Of course there are plenty of shy people in Japan and Europe, but they seem fewer by far.
k Followers, 44 Following, 5, Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Awkward Family Photos (@awkwardfamilyphotos)K posts. Jul 28, My family, while not nudists, aren't the shy type. But my family was all women so being in your bra and panties was nothing special. Now that I have an almost 8 year old son I'm more careful. That started around 6 for him. If it's just my daughter and I all bets are off. Google allows users to search the Web for images, news, products, video, and other content.
Does it have something to do with the strong influence of Christianity in US culture? I guess it is all conditioning. Hot Spring Fan. Hi - My husband and I are talking about the concept of showering with our toddler girl - 1. I'd like to hear perspectives on showering with kids in general and with the other sex parent in particular. Thanks for the insights. Ever since he could stand up, we've both taken turns showering with our toddler, who is almost 3.
Since you wanted ''insights,'' here's why we do it: it gets him clean. I think it's a great idea, so long as shame isn't part of it. Be prepared to answer lots of questions, and when she's about 3, dad should be prepared for a yank. Kids are curious after all, but it's just like post-nursing children wanting to touch our breasts - we tell them it's not okay to touch mommy's private parts.
We have a 2yo girl who showers regularly with either me or my husband or both on mornings when she is in a shower mood. We have found that it has been a great opportunity for us to teach her about the differences between boys men and girls women. She just accepts that Daddy has a penis, just like she has a vagina and her pee-pee comes out of her urethra. Although we have very strong beliefs about WHEN people should start having sex, we also have strong beliefs about talking about sexuality the same as going potty or learning to run or why we eat vegetables.
My husband and I were both raised in such a way that sex and nudity were fairly taboo and we don't want our children to have to overcome those taboos when they are in a position where it is appropriate to have sexual relations. It also nice not to have to worry about getting clothes wet. Vagina hasn't yet come up since our daughter isn't talking yet and my son hasn't noticed or asked.
It's pretty fun to shower with a toddler, but you have to be a little careful. My little boy 2 years old doesn't like it when I take a shower, and half the time doesn't want to take a bath, but if I'm in the shower and ask him if he wants to come in, too, oh boy does he! It's great fun for him and very easy for me to clean him, but it's more difficult getting myself clean. If I use regular soap Dial whateverthen it could easily get into his eyes, so I have to use his baby shampoo, too.
If I wash my hair, then I have to squat while rinsing so that the shower doesn't get the soap on him. Since he's still nursing, that means he has access to breasts, which he will try to pinch and poke and then laugh about it. You also really have to guard against slipping in the bathtub. I don't think he's ever showered with his dad, but one time when he was a year old, he toddled over to a guy friend, reached up through his shorts and grabbed some pubic hair!
Very uncomfortable for the guy, so maybe your husband should make sure he keeps his eyes open. I don't think kids have real long-term memory until after age three or so, if you're worried about him or her remembering and being weirded out about it.
I can't tell you what the general recommendation is for this. But I can tell you that I showered with my mom when I was very little. I'm female. My father wasn't in the picture.
I don't remember the exact age. But I was old enough to remember. There was never anything weird about it for me. In fact, I remember it being fun because of the spraying water and feeling safe with my mommy! I read this post and was delighted to be reminded of one of my favorite experiences with my daughter when she was little.
We had a very tiny tub with a seat at the back and I began showering with her when she was really just an infant. I remember her pleasure at being ''naked in the rain'' and my joy holding her sweet little body in my arms while we giggled and lathered and washed our hair together. It was one of the most lovely moments in our day and much easier than leaning over the tub to bathe her and waiting for her to finish.
I highly recommend the practice! We even jump in together to this day she's in college if we both need to use our single shower at the same time. We are a family of two women who are very relaxed about our naked bodies and are very physically affectionate when we're clothed. It was the same in my family of origin, although the presence of brothers and dads seemed to alter the climate a bit when the kids started to reach puberty.
I think the most important part of this is to communicate ease with your body. If you can't, don't.
It sends the wrong message. My daughters are 3 and 1 and shower with daddy several times a week. They have a blast and there is nothing weird about it. We realize that will probably come to an end soon. I often shower with my son now 3. At various points he has preferred it to baths though right now he would rather have a bath.
We both love it and I see nothing wrong with it. For me it's easier than giving him baths because I'm getting in the shower anyway, and it's not any extra prep work.
We also have a sort of game with the water stream, I have no idea how it started: one of us is in the water stream, and the other one says ''Get out of there, Reorge!
I also remember when I was really young, not showering with my dad but seeing him naked, and it was natural and no big thing. I think seeing your opposite parent naked is a good way to encourage a healthy attitude toward bodies in general and particularly toward sexuality.
I haven't had any problems. I'm not exactly sure what your concerns are but I'm sure your daughter will be fine if you are. If you're not comfortable with it, that might be a different issue because she might pick up on the vibe. We both my husband and I bathe with my 2. I suppose we'll stop when it starts to seem weird but it doesn't yet. I imagine it will seem weird when she develops more awareness of things sexual.
At this point her awareness consists of being able to identify boy, girl, man or woman, and that's it. My husband and I have been pretty loose about nudity in the house both our own and that of our children since the kids were born.
Nude shy family
Now that my older daughter is almost six, though, I'm starting to feel uncomfortable with my husband walking around naked in front of her-in part because his groin, and all its apparatus, are right at eye level for her.
We are fairly progressive parents, but suddenly I'm beginning to squirm. Any thoughts? What does your daughter say or how does she act when your or your husband are naked around her? Most kids will let you know when they are no longer comfortable with nudity. I grew up in a family that attached little importance to physical modesty.
My spouse grew up in a family with one modest parent and one hyper-modest parent we have to take it on faith that her father, like other ordinary mortals, does indeed have occasional bowel movements. In our own family we are relaxed about nudity. It has not been an explicit or conscious policy, but I hope it gives children the healthy message that their is nothing mysterious about body parts, their parents aren't embarassed about their bodies, and they shouldn't be embarassed about theirs.
I don't think there is any age threshold when you should stop sending that message. And perhaps it is more, not less, important for children to get that message as they get older. I believe that a better understanding of the human body, and more comfort with their own body, helps young people develop a healthy sexuality.
Still, I do think we each have our own comfort level. For example, my 3rd-grader is ridiculously modest, e. At the same time, I am surprised that my middle school daughter is not more modest about her changing body, especially with a teasing younger brother in the house.
It took me a little while to realize that the problem was me - if she doesn't feel embarassed about her changing body, why should I? The only conscious decision we made is to use correct names for body parts, e. Depending on your own upbringing, this can be very hard to do! Children are curious, and if you can talk matter of factly about body parts, they ask about it all. The only drawback that I can see to the open discussion of body parts is that all of our children, when very small, have occasionally said things that made other adults wilt.
But this seems pretty minor - if grandma and the Safeway cashier fall off their chairs because they distinctly heard a tiny girl say ''clitoris,'' who has the problem? Not the child. On the other hand, my elementary-school children have come home and laughed about the great confusion that exists among their peers when it comes to boys' and girls' bodies.
I look forward to what I anticipate will be a great many posts, some of which will undoubtedly make me feel like a prude! Don't Worry, Be Naked. When our oldest daughter was about the age yours is, we faced the same issue. We decided not to rush to cover up. Attitudes to nudity are obviously highly variable across cultures, and mainstream American culture seems to us very pathological. Nudity and touch are sexualized much more than in some other countries, and some people are left so modest prudish?
Many, especially the young, are too uncomfortable to negotiate safe sex, or contraceptive use, with tragic results. There are plenty of communities in which young mothers have felt pressured not to breastfeed because they and others are uncomfortable about exposed breasts. We feel our policy has paid off. All of us are comfortable with are bodies, and our kids can talk about their bodies very matter- of-factly.
Such a contrast with my own childhood. Despite frequent camping trips, shared motel rooms, and the constant use of beaches with no bath houses, I have never seen my own father naked.
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My first glimpses of adult male genitalia came from flashers and during an attempted sexual assault. My shock and perplexity at their appearance left me that much less able to think clearly about what to do about the threatening situations I found myself in.
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I was also completely unable to tell my mother about some health problems I had, and that I was beginning puberty, because I was just too embarrassed. Not rushing to cover up nudity sends the message that there's nothing abnormal or bad about human bodies, something my husband's family always knew, and reinforced by their casual attitude to nudity.
Anonymous, but not under cover! My child is not old enough for this to be an issue with us, so I have to talk about my experience as a child with very loose parents. My parents were naked around me all the time. And you know what? Because it wasn't an issue for my parents. I promise you, if you don't make a big deal about it, it won't be a big deal for her, and there is a very important added benefit: your daughter will grow up much more comfortable with her body, because her parents modeled that THEY were comfortable with their bodies.
So, your husbands penis is at your daughters eyel level. I would encourage you to really follow where your thoughts are going and what your fears are. Are you afraid your daughter will develop sexual feelings for her father? If she does, it makes no difference if he's naked or not. They are unconscious and, as the child grows and develops, will move on to more appropriate ''targets'' so-to-speakespecially if parents don't make a big deal about it and realize that this is perfectly normal and has NOTHING to do with whether or not they walked around naked.
Will your daughter be curious about daddy's penis? Click on the above banner to read this ongoing story. Sixteen-year-old Jack gets a digital camera for his birthday. Jack has a crush on his fourteen-year-old brother, Chris, and tries to use the excuse of having fun with the camera as a way of getting Chris out of his clothes.
Chris turns out to be more than a little shy. However, their younger brother, Alex, isn't quite so inhibited. In fact, it appears that when it comes to having his picture taken, Alex has very few inhibitions at all! The story follows the adventures of the three brothers and their friends, as Jack tries to achieve his ambition of getting his hands on Chris.
An ongoing story; so far eighteen chapters are complete and posted here. Chapter 19 is under way in the "Work In Progress" forum of my discussion board. To read this story, click on the above banner. Thirteen-year-old Bryan is enrolled by his mother in a modelling Agency. Bryan isn't exactly enthusiastic about the idea, but agrees to give it a go. The story follows Bryan's experiences both at the agency and at home as he enters the new and sometimes scary world of modelling whilst at the same time struggling with the problems and insecurities of being thirteen.
An ongoing story. Ten chapters posted here. Chapters 11 to 28 are available in the "Work In Progress" forum of my discussion board. A Naked In School Story. Category: Catherine Reynolds, naturist attorney. Mar 31 KMBS Mar 19 The first day of naturism at school Naturism is now legal in Eden's Creek and for the first time in the world, naturist kids go to school with textile kids. Mar 12 Kim Taylor's transition day morning It's Transition Day and Kim Taylor will need to be nude in elementary school in her 6th grade class.
Mar 10 Mar 03 Feb 27 Feb 26 Feb 25 Feb 24 Feb 23 The Richardson family is coming to town The Richardson family cannot explore their new house yet, so they have to sleep at the only Bed and Breakfast in town. Feb 22 The Taylor's new house Mark Kelso shows the Taylor's to their new house and presents this family. Feb 19 The "job of a lifetime" offer from Mark Kelso Eric Taylor is a very good project manager. Feb 18 Feb 17 Feb 16 Feb 15 Interview with General Langley, Part 1 Eden's creek is a universe I have been working on for over 3 years.
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Suzy and her Father, a day under the sun A story submitted by a reader about a teenage girl who wants to get closer to her father, whom she only sees from time to time since the divorce of her parents.
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